Silly question? Perhaps not. I have learned that there is indeed a method to our personal madness, meaning there is a reason why we do things. Believe it or not, by holding on to these intense feelings, we are pushing others away. Think about it….who wants to be around someone who spews venom at us or those around us? Subconsciously or unconsciously, we may want to hold onto the pain we may be experiencing, and holding that anger will stop us from addressing the issue and possibly growing in the process.
Now, I also have seen how we cannot get this upset about something unless we are truly passionate about it. That part holds value, as I see the benefit of caring. When it gets to an extreme level, however, I think we shoot ourselves in the foot. So let’s keep the passion and direct it in more appropriate ways to get your needs met. If something is bothering you, take time to reflect on how and even why, as you may see a pattern in your life including how you see yourself from progressing through issues. If it is someone who has affected you, imagine being able to discuss it with them and getting your needs met. This would be a beautiful thing and model to yourself that whatever comes up, you can address it before the feelings grow into something is painful and caustic.
Good Luck!
What a Friend Means To Me
A Friend is someone to lean on
A Friend is someone to look in on us when we are in need
- A Friend is someone to laugh with as well as cry with when we need to
- A Friend is someone to bounce ideas off of
- A Friend is someone who can handle our frustrations
I do not know where I would be without friendship. The kindness and support I receive are things I would not trade and I am fortunate to be blessed with special people in my life. Are you fortunate enough to have such friends in your life?
Interestingly, many I have worked with have shared feeling uncomfortable leaning on a friend and getting the support they may be struggling to find. Why? Some have said they would not want to burden their friends. Others have shared being embarrassed and needy to keep their pain even from their closest friends. Ah! Then what good is having a friend, I say! A true friend can handle what you need to say. Have faith in you and lean on them when in need.
Shame the Tie that Binds Our Pain
No matter who you are, your life circumstances in what you have been through, any of us tend to get stuck and feel shame. While this can be experienced
emotionally in a number of ways, it tends to be unresolved issues that hold us
down and which we feel shame about.
It is easy to imagine a negative experience in our lives and the idea that we have harmed others or negatively affected them in some way. Of course, if we have not made amends, it is quite possible that others could be upset and have shared this with us. In this situations, other persons words and the hurt we know we have caused could indeed feel shameful. Many times though that shame is self imposed.
Suffering in Silence: Why not reach out for help?
Positive Self-Care
I believe the stressors that exist in our lives today are even more prevalent than decades ago. Instead of just plugging away in trying to meet that next task or deadline, or even self-imposed expectations, you need to evaluate your needs and wants every so often. Am I being true to myself?
What are the things that you most want out of life. Perhaps more time alone, more time with your significant other or more time doing hobbies and other pleasurable activities. When we nurture ourselves, we are best able to succeed at meeting the hopes and expectations of others. But it has to be “us” first at least some of the time.
Challenges of Today’s Parenting
Counseling in Today’s Society
Many people think that something must be seriously wrong with them if they go to counseling. Meanwhile, how many millions have already gone? How many of of us are going to get stuck on an issue and not know how to best cope? No one will have all the answers all of the time.
The truth of the matter is we are bound to get stuck more often than any of us would ever imagine, but that is ok. Being intelligent can help, but some issues call for more than just intelligence. Being driven and motivated to solve problems can also help and, yet, there may still be some pieces of the puzzle that are missing. Then there is the matter of our hearts and how we may lead with only our emotions and without our minds too.
Counseling is about having support, hearing a neutral opinion, knowing you won’t be judged and having at least one place to talk about your most uncomfortable and unimaginable thoughts and feelings. With so many already going to counseling, doesn’t it seem more normal for those that go?