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Taking Command of Your Life

January 19, 2014

How many of us can honestly say that everything we do is done solely for ourselves?  What I mean is that when I ask clients about their purpose, in doing whatever it is they are doing in life, I would usually hear things like “Well I need to this because so and so wants it” or “it is expected of me.”  Ok.  Let me ask you this.  Are you truly excited about it or, again, are these other’s “needs” instead of those of others?  And, if so, what will happen next?  Are you always going to focus on what you should do?  I say what about your needs?

Pleasing others should not mean sacrificing you.  If, for example, you are going into some type of job or field of study because friends or family think it’s important, then I hope you agree….totally agree.  If you are not truly wanting to go in this direction, then I say you will not be happy and probably end up resentful.  Now, we can appreciate other’s motivation, especially if it is to see you successful in life.  We can use that support and energy in the direction we want to go.  If this is not what we want, it is okay to say to them “thank you.  I know you want the best for me.  I am not quite sure I’d like that, and I have to research it a little more”.  Remember this, rarely in life is an answer needed that exact moment (a la if you don’t agree with them and start on the path they suggest in the moment, it might be a catastrophe).

When I have such energy from others, I can indeed use this to take time to reflect more on the idea, as well as others that might fit for me.  It may be scary, and we may want to resist even thinking about it.  But I say direct that energy and use that moment to take control of your future.  Resist the urge to change the subject in your mind.  Stay with the thought a little longer.

It does not matter who is discussing ideas with us or what the idea is (where you may live, travel, philosophies you could support, etc.), the fact remains, you are the one who will deal with consequences of your decision.  No one else will experience this in the same way you will.  Sure.  This can be disappointment to someone else, but you have to decide where your life will go.  Good Luck.

 

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