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Connecting with Others

January 6, 2014

Ever seen one of those movies or TV shows where the moment changes and the emotionally distant father hugs his son and the tears flow? Oh! The good feelings we then experience from these touching moments.  Ah! But this is not just an opportunity for us to feel for that father and son but for also for each of us to tap into any unresolved issues we may be experiencing. Now I say this because I believe we all have painful experiences that we may stuff deep inside and try not to think about.

Those TV moments allow our own unresolved thoughts and feelings to be experienced, if we are willing to take a risk and face them.  By this, I mean to sit with the thoughts and wonder for a moment how the result has come to be or what we or they did to lead us to this pain.  We can also sit with the feelings, pain or anger, for example, and we were affected by the event.    We don’t have to come up with answers in that moment, but rather just be OK with the feelings coming up.  Own them and give them their due by feeling them.

The next step might be to talk about this experience. It can be with a friend or family member, anyone who can just listen and be there for support.  You can write out what you are experiencing as yet another way to get the pain out.  The goal here is to release some of the hold these experiences have on us as well as only making it easier for next time when something has been stirred up inside of us.

Going further, what if we could then begin to connect with our friend and loved one’s more deeply, meaning be more willing to share emotions with them—and I don’t just mean anger.  This means taking a risk and trusting special others with our feelings.  Yes.  We could be hurt.  I am not saying to do this with the world but rather those special few in our lives we may wish to be closer to.  You wouldn’t have to tell them everything; just start with something.  How do they respond?  They may be surprised and even not know how to initially respond.  They may also share something back and take a risk themselves.  Wonderful.  This is a start.  It has to start somewhere.  Good luck.

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