Choosing the Right Therapist for you

Years ago, the idea of going to therapy would bring up a lot of anxiety for people.  “What will people think if I see a therapist?  What does it say about me if I can’t handle things myself?”  Questions like these actually cause us undue stress.  My fear is that many still get bugged down by these same questions.  Life is not about what other people think of you.  Your interests, hopes, and dreams are what matter.  You are going to get stuck sometimes; a good therapist can help you through.

So what am I looking for in a good therapist?  Some people have heard about specific theories that they think might work for them.  For example, some know that a cognitive-behavioral approach is good for challenging patterns and behaviors without getting too deep into the emotional component.  Similarly, many have heard of the work of Freud, where clients were seen more as patients and would lie on the couch and talk about deep-seeded issues like with your mother.  These days, there are hundreds of clinical theories that therapists may practice.  If you have enough insight about a theory or motivation to experience a certain one then so be it.  Personally, I want someone I can connect with.  Of course, I hope for insight and experience, as well as I want to know that the therapist has my best interest at heart.

The journey might be uncomfortable.  Honestly, a little discomfort  means we are digging into the emotional dirt we need  to be in.  When someone comes in, I expect there is a presenting problem that I believe will stem from the past.  This is valuable for me to explore with clients and helping them truly understand the issue. As you consider therapy for yourself, feel free to research the therapist on-line and call to ask questions.  A dedicated therapist will take the time to be there.

Stuart Kaplowitz

Marriage and Family Therapist

Chino & Chino Hills